White chicks
by Hummelberryshipper99
Summary: 2 FBI agent- AKA Blaine and Kurt- are signed to baby-sit a pair of cheerleader-type stuck-up girls, then pose as the girls to catch the mysterious Kidnapper. I DO NOT OWN WHITE GIRLS, NOR GLEE.


Okay, I love the movie, ''White chicks''. It is really hilarious. So, for everyone who loves the movie, this is the glee version. Enjoy!

* * *

[Mexican store; Music playing; Blaine is disguised as a store clerk, dancing along to the music, when 3 guys walked in.]

''Where's Manny? Tell him the Ice cream man is here.'' one of the bigger guys said.

Blaine nodded, looking behind the curtain. Kurt walks in, disguised too.

''Can we get down to business?'' The same big guy asked, irritated. ''You got the money?''

Blaine gestures to come closer, then when the guy is close, he starts singing ''Guantanamera''.

When He finishes, Blaine turns to Kurt, ''Tell him.''

''He said that He's not gonna give you one red cent until you tell him what flavor the ice cream is.'' Kurt translated, in a cartoon voice so that they wouldn't recognise him.

The guy looks strangely at them, ''Vanilla. That's what you ordered.''

Blaine pulls out a comb and starts combing his fake hair, while looking at the guy weirdly.

''Tell him.'' He says again to Kurt.

''Okay.'' He grabs a suitcase full of money, ''It's all about the benjamins. baby!''

The tall guy turns around to the other 2 guys, ''Bring in the stuff!''  
''There is your ice cream.'' The guy trys to grab the suitcase, but Blaine interrupts.

''Un momento, Hermano.'' He says, in a brilliant accent. ''Tell him, I see coming.''

''I tell him, I say, Jesus,'' Blaine climbs on the table, still holding the candle that has Jesus on it, ''Como se llama, Papi?'' The guy and Kurt are looking at him strangely, Wondering what he is doing.

''Por que?!'' Blaine yells looking at the ceiling.

''he coming,'' Blaine climbs off of the table and continues, ''He say,'' He starts singing ''La Bamba''.

He turns to Kurt, ''Tell him.''

They pull off their fake makeup and wigs, ''FBI, you're under arrest.''

Kurt turns to Blaine, Both of them holding their badges, ''He's going to run.''

''No, he's not.'' The guy turns to run, Kurt glares at Blaine while climbing over the table.

''You owe me a dollar.'' Blaine nods, running to the tall guy.

''Hey, where you going, big boy?'' Blaine punches the tall guy, and they get into a huge fist-fight. The big guy pushes him into the counter.

''Goddamn! Now I'm going to bust you're ass,'' Blaine says, determined.

The guy finally goes down, with the help from Kurt.

''Damn, Blaine, Why do you always got to pick the biggest dude?'' Kurt pants.

Blaine is leaning against the counter, panting heavily, ''I don't know. I like a challenge.''

Kurt shakes his head, amused, ''See? What did I tell you?'' He walks to Blaine.''We did it, right?''

''Yeah.'' Blaine agrees.

''No help, No backup. And We're gonna get all the credit.'' Kurt says proudly. ''400 keys of pure...'' Kurt opens the lid on one of the containers, and sticks his finger in the 'ice cream'. He puts it in his mouth, tasting it.

''Vanilla Ice cream?'' He says, confused.

''What?'' Blaine asks, putting a finger in the ice cream as well, tasting it.

''Hey,'' Kurt pulls the guy up from his collar, ''Where's the drugs?!''

''I know nothing about drugs,'' The guy responds, blood leaving his mouth.  
''I sell Ice Cream. Strawberry, Vanilla, Neapolitan for example.''

3 more guys come in, this time the real drug-dealers.

''Hey, tell Manny his ice cream delivery is here.'' The two FBI agents look at each other, realization hitting them. The lead guy looks around at the scene in front of him.

''Never mind. Wrong store.'' They start having a shooting war, the drug-dealers run out of the store, escaping for good.

''I told you we should've called for backup.'' Kurt says, frustrated.

''You know the chief's Gonna kill us, right?'' Blaine asks, afraid.

A few hours later, the chief arrives, bringing some other detectives with him.

''Let me give you guys a little tip.'' The chief says, sighing.''If you wanna work outside the channels, You know, Do the renegade Cop thing...You might wanna make sure you get the right guy.''

''Well, I-'' Kurt says, nervous. ''Chief, We almost had the guy. Our intelligence was just a little off.''

''Wait a minute, Intelligence? Look around you, Hummel. There's nothing intelligent about _this._'' He gestures to a big ice-cream mess.

''Now, I'm tired of your escapades. I want them to stop. The last thing I need Is to be the laughing-stock of the bureau, and furthermore the-'' He gets interrupted by Blaine's phone.

''Hold on,'' Blaine says, picking up the phone. ''Hello? Dude, I Can't talk. The chief is chewing my ass now.. I got to call you back, Okay, Bye.'' He hangs up, apologetic.

''Sorry, chief.''

''As I was saying-'' He gets interrupted again by his own phone.

''Gordan here... Yes, he is,'' He answers his phone, noticing it's his employee's best friend. Kurt looks at Blaine, raising an eyebrow. Blaine looks afraid and curious at the same time.

''It's for you.'' The chief says, handing the phone to Blaine.

''Thank you. Uh, Nick, I'm still with the chief,''

''No respect.'' Kurt shakes his head.

''No, He's really unhappy now. Okay, I gotta go. Bye.'' He hands the phone back with the chief, apologetic.

The chief opens and closes is mouth for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. ''You guys- Get this place cleaned up. I expect to have a full report on my desk tomorrow.''

''Yes.'' They agree.

''In the mean time? I'm checking with the bureau to see if they got any openings... In Iraq.''

Two other detectives come over, mocking them. ''The dynamic duo strikes again.''

''Way to go, Baskin and Robbin.'' Dave says, smirking. Kurt fakes a laugh, not hurt at all.

''Or is it, Haag and dazs?'' Sebastian adds, snarling.

''Ha Ha! Haag and Dazs, You wrote that?'' Blaine fakes laughter.

''That's good, I like that. Later Haag.''

''Adios, dazs.'' They walk away.

''Lets get this place cleaned up, Okay?'' Kurt says, rolling his eyes.

''All right.'' Blaine says, looking around.

''Okay, so, you do the floor. Clean all the ice cream up, and I'll go warm the car up.'' Kurt walks away, Blaine nods then looks at him like he was crazy.

[Cut to Nick, Jeff and Blaine's apartment.]

Blaine just got home, and was looking in the fridge. All he sees is a little carton of Chinese food.

''Okay, So much for a hot meal.'' He turns around to see a furious Nick.

''Hey, Nick,'' Blaine greets, afraid.

''Don't 'Hey, Nick' me. I can't believe you have me sitting here all night worried about you.'' Nick frowns.

''All night?'' Blaine questions, looking at the clock. ''Nick... It's only 8 O'clock. Look, after work, Me and Kurt went down to the bar and we just had a couple of drinks.''

''I know. I called the bar, They said you left at 7:45. I checked MapQuest, Blaine, It only takes 6 minutes to get there from here, so, if you got some other best-friend, Blaine, you need to tell me.'' Nick crossed his arms.

''Nick, listen to what you just said. MapQuest said it takes six minutes to get here. I got here in eight. Which means there's two minutes unaccounted for. If I was cheating on you as a best-friend, Don't you think I'd need more than two minutes?''

Nick gave him an 'I don't believe you' look. ''You know what? I'm not going to deal with this. I'm tired, Okay? I got shot at..'' Nick rolled his eyes, and Ignored him, going to bed in his room.


End file.
